Finding Peace in Vanity: Buddhist Practices for Self-Discovery

Buddhism emphasizes compassion, understanding, and enlightenment and also aims to eliminate negative traits like greed, hatred, and vanity.

Buddhism preaches a truth to let go of all preconceived notions about the world and accept the nothingness of existence. Vanity pride in one’s achievements, is a hindrance for the Buddhist to achieve the ultimate goal of nirvana.

This piece will delve into Buddhism’s perspective on vanity and provide suggestions on how to overcome it in your daily life.

Excessive pride in one’s appearance or accomplishments is referred to as vanity or narcissism. This excessive pride is due to any kind of fascination with or attachment towards any kind of conditioned prosperity possessed by oneself, such as good health and youthfulness. It is identified as one of the twenty subsidiary unwholesome mental factors within the Mahayana Abhidharma teachings. 

This trait is seen as an obstacle to spiritual growth and is something that Buddhists strive to avoid.

It is easy to get caught up in the pursuit of external beauty and success, whether it be through trendy items, luxurious possessions, or even impressive skills. However, these desires often stem from a desire to impress others rather than fulfilling genuine needs.

Vanity is detrimental not just for the person displaying it, but also for those around them. It is a hindrance for both Buddhists and non-Buddhists alike.

According to Buddhism, any concepts related to the ego, the soul or the self are artificial constructs that don’t correspond to the true nature of reality. Buddhism teaches there is no self and individuals should avoid anything like vanity that reinforces or celebrates the ego.

A Buddhist strives to be free from all suffering, and one of the greatest sources of suffering is attachment. 

For a Buddhist, being vain makes it difficult to throw off the chains of attachment. Every claim is an attempt to grasp and leads to unhappiness. This is Buddhists’ ideological stance on vanity.

Are we ever tempted to think we’re better or worse than others? When we have these thoughts, how deeply do we believe them?

If we believe them even a little, that would mean that these thoughts have become a part of our personality.

The more we believe in them, the more they affect our behavior. The more we behave based on these thoughts and beliefs, the less control we have over them.

We should aim to become aware of the thought and emotions that arise in us.

Buddhism on Vanity

The Buddha’s wisdom on vanity is both practical and full of insight into the human condition.

Below is a quotation from Paṭhama Soṇa Suttaɱ, Sutta 49 (translated by Bhikkhu Bodhi):

The Blessed One then said to Soṇa the householder’s son:

Soṇa, when any ascetics and brahmins, on the basis of form — which is impermanent, suffering, and subject to change — regard themselves thus:

‘I am superior,’ or ‘I am equal,’ or ‘I am inferior,’ what is that due to apart from not seeing things as they really are?

When any ascetics and brahmins, on the basis of feeling … on the basis of perception … on the basis of volitional formations … on the basis of consciousness — which is impermanent, suffering, and subject to change — regard themselves thus:

‘I am superior,’ or ‘I am equal,’ or ‘I am inferior,’ what is that due to apart from not seeing things as they really are?

Rather than focusing on such fleeting impressions as vanity, jealousy or admiration, Buddha suggests learning our own minds through meditation or mindfulness techniques.

In this way, vanity is reduced when we see the world around us and ourselves as it truly is. We aren’t attracted to the pretty packaging anymore; we recognize the emptiness inside.

Once we see things as they really are, there is no longer a need for vanity, which makes it easier to let go of attachment.

Getting Rid of Vanity

Although Buddhism does not condone vanity, it is something that many Buddhists still struggle with.

Vanity is a hindrance to our happiness that we all face at one time or another, but thankfully there are ways for us to avoid it if we so choose. 

There are five activities to get rid of vanity which are explained in the Nibbida Sutta. These activities are:

1. Asubha Sanna (perceiving the impurity of the body)
2. Ahare Patikkula Sanna (perceiving the impurity of material food)
3. Sabba Loke Anabhirata Sanna (not taking delight in worlds)
4. Sabba Sankharesu Anicca Sanna (impermanence of all aggregates)
5. Marana Sati (to be mindful of death)

Buddhist teachings encourage us to be humble, mindful, and wise.  

Making an effort in these three areas will help us to avoid all the emotional and mental suffering that comes with vanity.

Selflessness

Vanity is contradictory to the Buddhist concept “Selflessness”. According to this concept, individuals must accept the middle path between extremes in life. An individual must accept neither the ego is everlasting, nor the death annihilates the ego. Pride over oneself is nothing but fruitless.

Four Noble Truths

Vanity is part of the four noble truths of Buddhism. According to one of the truths, overcoming vanity is key to attaining nirvana. Buddhists work towards the dissolution of their own consciousness and ultimately complete liberation from the cycle of death and rebirth.

Lifestyle of Buddhist Monks

The lifestyle of monks further confirms the Buddhist belief in avoiding vanity. Monks study the precepts of Chan (Zen) Buddhism in an attempt to achieve enlightenment. These monks accept a humble lifestyle in pursuit of higher Buddhist ideals. Buddhists Monks receive everything they need — from clothing to food — as gifts from laypeople. Buddhist monks must ignore their own vanity and humble themselves.

Impermanence 

Vanity contradicts the Buddhist concept of impermanence. Buddhism teaches that individuals should accept the impermanence of all things in the world. Everything from people to animals to objects die, but many humans waste their time in vanity.

Buddhists believe that fighting or trying to conceal their own impermanence is pointless. For example, according to Buddhanet, most monks shave their head as a sign of devotion to the principles of Buddhism, but those who don’t, avoid removing or dyeing their gray hairs, as they serve as a reminder of their own aging.

Advising people to let go and be free is an easy thing to say, but can be difficult in practice. But if we keep in mind that vanity will bring little to no lasting satisfaction, and instead focus on developing wisdom, we will find the strength to let it go.  

Our vanity can be fueled by so many things: good health, physical beauty, academic achievements, family heritage, social skills, etc. 

Our tendency is to grab on to a quality that we think is special and make it our own. We think that we are special because of it, and then believe that other people will treat us specially as a result. Therefore, we must continually reinforce and defend our sense of greatness.

Again, one remedy is humility; not that we are in any way less than anyone else, but that we are not competing with anyone. We are only trying to be present and open, with all of our attention, right now. And right now. And right now.

It’s so easy to become vain. We all like to think we’re better than others in some way.

But when we choose to let vanity, pride, jealousy and the like dictate our actions, we become unable to have real relationships. We are blinded by our own selfishness and therefore cannot trust another person on any real level.

It’s so much better to be humble and honest. Then, we can truly open up our hearts and let ourselves be loved in the fullness of who we are.

Some people need an identity that they can easily stand behind. But why do we need to stand behind an identity? What is the point? Do I even need an identity? It’s something that everyone has to wonder about at some point in their life.

We must remind ourselves that, no matter what, we are not entitled to the best of everything. It is a good practice to meditate on the weaknesses of our character and to make an effort to change those things about ourselves.

This is a good way to get in touch with others and appreciate what makes them different. It is the only way to escape the prison we’ve made for ourselves, and to lower the wall of vanity.

We can train ourselves of lessen the importance we put on those qualities. Remind yourself that you are both stronger and weaker than the most prominent qualities you define yourself with.

We are not only what we have. We are far deeper than that. We can be grateful for all the aspects of our being, including all our faults and flaws. With this deep sense of gratitude, we can let go of our preoccupation with the special qualities of ourselves.

The Theory of “Comparing Mind”

“Comparing mind” is a sign of vanity. When we compare, we are always looking for something better than what we already have. The problem with comparing is that it creates a constantly moving target. We are always thinking that we should be one step up on the ladder.  

Instead of focusing our attention on comparisons, we should focus on keeping a calm and peaceful mind. 

If we are able to be happy with what we have, then there is nothing for us to compare ourselves to, which means that there is nothing to make us feel bad about ourselves.

Vanity is the root of many of our problems because it causes us to compare ourselves to others. We isolate ourselves from others through our vanity. This isolation can cause us to feel lonely, and then depression or jealousy may set in.

Vanity and pride gets developed in placing oneself above others and looking down on others arises in a person, it is due to his not doing things the proper way. That would not happen if you follow this Path with a sense of humility. 

We can again turn to humility as a remedy; not that we are in any way inferior to anyone, but that we are not in competition.  We are only trying to be present and open, with all of our attention, right now. And right now. And right now. Our relationship with others can be peaceful and serene if we let go of our need to be better or worse than them.  

However, this can be difficult to do and takes some practice. Overcoming vanity requires a methodical approach that is simple but not easy. 

The objective is to internalize the realization that one’s body and self are impermanent while gaining an appreciation for all things in life.

The Vanity Of Worldliness: A Poem by a Buddhist Poet

A Buddhist poet composed a poem on the vanity of worldliness:

“It is good to reform, and it is good to exhort people to reform.

The things of the world will all be swept away.

Let others be busy and buried with care.

My mind all unvexed shall be pure.

“After pleasures they hanker and find no satisfaction;

Riches they covet and can never have enough.

They are like unto puppets held up by a string.

When the string breaks they come down with a shock.

“In the domain of death there are neither great nor small;

Neither gold nor silver is used, nor precious jewels.

No distinction is made between the high and the low.

And daily the dead are buried beneath the fragrant sod.

“Look at the sun setting behind the western hills.

You lie down to rest, but soon the cock will announce morn.

Reform today and do not wait until it be too late

Do not say it is early, for the time quickly passes by.

“It is good to reform and it is good to exhort people to reform.

It is good to lead a righteous life and take refuge in the Buddha’s name.

Your talents may reach to the skies, your wealth may be untold-

But all is in vain unless you attain the peace of Nirvana.”

Parting Words

This article aimed to provide an understanding of Buddhism’s stance on vanity and offer suggestions for avoiding it in one’s own life.

I am happy to answer any further questions you may have. Please feel free to share your thoughts and feedback in the comments section below.